Anticipation courses through me and I wonder if I will see him tonight. I'm at the salsa club where we met just over a week ago. It feels like months. I want to see him and feel him again with every bone in my body. This is a game I want to win, but I don't think I can or will. Looking in the mirror I appreciate the reflection I see. I have no reason to cry over this man, I am a beautiful woman and I know all the men in there will be excited to dance with me tonight. There is only one I want to dance with and I'd take him all night over all of the others swirling in and out, and I know too that even if he's here, it's likely we won't even talk or dance.
The music grabs me and then my first dance of the night walks by takes my hand and leads me to the floor. I can't deny it's one of the sexiest parts of salsa for me. The men who don't even ask, they just grab the woman they want and assume submission. Usually those are the better dancers. They know they will plesae, they recognize a good and anxious dancer in a woman and they don't need any more permission than her willingness to be there tapping her feet and looking around waiting. It's hot. It's just plain hot.
The dancing is good tonite. It's Saturday and the best dancers in town are here in force. Many of them I recognize from other dances, and many have held me swirling in my ecstasy and feel to me like lovers in a very pure and sweet way in my heart.
One turn and I see him. Dressed again in white, looking so fine. My heart stops, and a smile comes to my lips. My next dance I move closer to the edge where is he is dancing with an older woman. Curiosity runs through me, is he with her? Geez, that would be an oddity. She is not very attractive, square bodied and she looks a good decade older than him. I feel a tinge of jealousy and sadness come over me, then a determination for success when I see he has seen me and is watching me.
I twirl and spin and grind and dance as sensually as I always do in front of him. I know he sees me, and that it's working on him in some way I can't really understand or know. In a break, I go up and say hello and hug him. He is friendly, happy to see me and joyful, but he won't meet me in the dance. This is my biggest disappointment for the night. I walk away pretending to not care but I am sad.
The rest of the night has tinges of disappointment, especially when I see that he will dance with other women. My heart hurts a little, but I am determined to not be too concerned. I step right in front of him and don't even acknowledge him when I walk out of the club, and I walk with confidence away from him, knowing he is watching my back as I walk away.
The whole drive home I'm thinking about what an idiot he is to not take an opportunity to be with a woman like ME. What an ass. What a totally disrespectful, ignorant stupid man. How could any man not see and appreciate a woman with as much sensual yumminess as I have? Every other man there wants me, can't wait to dance with me and would jump at a chance to even get my phone number. Every day he waits to call is another day I'm setting my will against him. He thinks he's making me want him more, the truth is he's just showing me what I don't want. I giggle in delight over that reality as the phone rings at 2 am.
"Hello" says a sexy sensual voice I know is his. "Who's this?" I say innocently pretending to not know. "Oh, you. Well hello." Putting on my sexiest sweetest voice and vibe, I let him talk to me a little bit. Short and sweet, but he called so he's thinking about me and so I know something I did tonite worked. He doesn't stay with me long though, and says he'll call me back. I am tired, and turn off the phone and go to bed rather than waiting for a call I'm pretty sure won't come anyway.
